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Thursday, July 15th, 2004
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11:22 pm - i love you so much
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FOR OUR FRIENDSHIP I WONT DO THAT ANYMORE. OK? IM CALLING YOU TOMORROW. IT'S LIKE 11:22. BUT I LOVE YOU AND I MISS YOU. ILL TTYL OK? BYE -tiffany
current mood:  anxious
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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| Saturday, June 19th, 2004
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12:16 am
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12:14 am
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| Friday, June 18th, 2004
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3:15 pm - no idea
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just make this easy and tell me who you are. okay? do you even know who i am or have you mistaken me for somebody else? what is my name?
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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1:10 pm - Answer This:
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12:53 pm - OK.
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| Thursday, June 17th, 2004
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5:17 pm - i hate that you hate me.
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1:09 pm - anonymous-who are you?
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do you love me? do you hate me? both? i just want to know. it's driving me insane.
"if you love me then i love you. and if i love you, keep guard of yourself."
-habanera_Carmen
the only love i can ever give is to one that loves me more. in fact with doing in respect, i will draw you to me. heads bowed, eyes melted on one another. a blush of fear rising in his eyes showing more love than i could ever give. so here he comes-head raised towards mine. walking as sure as he'll ever be. hips close as fingers from the same hand. lips with the caress only true love can manage. i shake my head from daydreaming and he walks closer... and turns. so tell me what happens when dreaming ends?
-1st_9lies
current mood:  excited
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(2 comments | comment on this)
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| Friday, June 11th, 2004
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10:45 pm - dESPARATION
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looking for love in all the wron places. love of my life, please find me so we can get this over and done with. where are you? who are you? tell me or i just might die before you can ever tell me or say anything. you're ignoring me and then loving me. not you __audible. you taught me all i know. taught you how to think. taught you how to play my song. taught me how to kill sofly with hands that could kill the moon saving every wolf of a ware life. and a hunting death. this corny shit has been brought to you personally by first(underscore) nine lies. unfortunately, i'm out of time. i'm out of fucking time. wanna disco? wanna see me disco? who took the bom from the bom ba lom ba lom? who took the ram from the ramalama ding dong?...how are you? fine thankyou. how are you? fine thankyou. see you later. see you later. . . . See you later.
_1st_9lies
current mood: ignored
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(5 comments | comment on this)
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| Saturday, June 5th, 2004
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10:29 pm - TO: Hi ilove you i hope all will brighten.
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i know you are sabra. thankyou. But who is the other person. B/c i know it's not you who is saying that sabra. B/c in there it says somthing about kissing and either thats about chris or it's not you. so other person, please tell me who you are.
-1st_9lies
current mood:  sleepy
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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8:13 pm - Please. Tell me who you are. Please.
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Thank You for helping me.But. WHO ARE YOU? Please. If you tell me we could get along or something. I think that it's really sweet what you said. But how did you get my live journal? Just please. Tell me who you are, how you got my live journal and like about you. Please?
-1st_9lies
current mood: anxious
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(comment on this)
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| Friday, June 4th, 2004
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10:22 am - To: Hi. I love you. I hope all will brighten.
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Hey. um it showed up as from anonymous but i'd like to know who you are. Please? answer ASAP please.
-1st_9lies
current mood:  lonely
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(4 comments | comment on this)
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| Monday, May 10th, 2004
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4:45 pm
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uh im like depressed... yey for me lol i like told my cousin my like deepest darkest secret and i think itwas a bad influence on her. yeah i m like her "dear abby" like the person she goes to foradvice. um yeah i kinda suck as an influence now cuz my life is screwed up because my mom has a boyfriend and i haven't been selfish or anythnig and i've accepted her happiness that makes my life a living hell and now i can't take it anymore. i've been dead. for a fucking long time. and it sucks like a fucking fuck. and it hurts but it's bad and usually i'd write something after this but now im like still dead.
i like have enough money for my graduation present for myself but i'm not sure if i want to get it or not.
the world fuckking sucks.
bye.
-1st_9lies
current mood: FUCKED OFF!/PISSED
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(3 comments | comment on this)
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| Wednesday, April 7th, 2004
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7:48 pm - 1st Chapter of the Diaries of 1st_9lies
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Last Week was the school talent show.
i was supposed to be in it. but i wasn't. you know why? here's my
story: i am all like nervous (realizing that it's the day of the talent
show tryouts and i don't even know what i'm doing.) i do "Time Of Your
Life-Good Riddance" by Greenday. I suck but make the cut anyways. so i
tryout with my "music teacher" who cannot sing. i have to tryout to do
a different song b/c i don't have enough time to learn the one
that i want to do. so i learn it and i tryout and i surprisingly do
really really well. Then she says, " Oh, those are beautifull chords
together." Then when im done, she says," That is a beautifull song and
i can tell that you sing it and play it with so much love and meaning
for it. But, i can't let you sing the song." (The proud and bashfull
grin vanishing from my face at the sound of those easilly slipped in
words. They were just lingering in my mind untill i say in stardom and
astonishment, " Why not?!" She responds with her creepy "i want to be
your best friend and old lady 1970's barbie doll look" and says, "
Because there will be Kindergardeners and younger children there and
the words OBSESSION and DOMESTIC ABUSER aren't appropriate for their
age." And i'm just pissed off with my jaw hanging down, my hands in
frantic fists. She suggests i do another song. So i say "The First Cut
Is The Deepest" not knowing that i wasn't pissed off anymore. And
she says ok but i am pissed off again once she says that i can do "The
First Cut Is The Deepest." And i neerly ruin the guitar clenched in my
homicidal-desiring hands. So, i tell her that i will cut out parts. I
leave in calmness so that i should not run back into the music room and
smashing her head as well as her guitar. but i remember my respect for
guitars and prominsing myself that i would never ever smash a guitar
because of the beautifull sound it makes. So, later i realize, it's a
great song and i wouldn't want to discrace the everlasting hard work
and ass-busting hours that Gwen spent on composing that great song. So,
i hold my ground and tell her the next music class, "If i can't do "A
Simple Kind Of Life" then i'm not going to do the talent show." And she
says, "That would be your descision but i had a dream last night that
you weren't participating in the talent show. I hope you will do "The
First Cut Is The Deepest" because you are and exellent musician." I am
not bashfull and proud that she told me that i was a great muscian, as
i should be but in this situation, again my homicidal-desiring
hands want to reach out and kill her. So i storm out of the room. I
reconsidered the offer of cutting OBSESSION and DOMESTIC ABUSER out of
the song. But I continue to protest. Later, i am walking down the hall,
still pondering over my rejected act. She turns the corner and i try to
avoid her eyes hoping that no eye-contact will make me invisible, but
she spots me and gets back into her "i
want to be your best friend and old lady 1970's barbie doll look."
Again I want to hurt her and better yet kill her. Putting her
liver-spotted, wrinkling, old arm around me, in the"i want to be your best friend and old lady 1970's barbie doll voice"she
says, "If you want you can still be in the talent show for "The First
Cut Is The Deepest" song." In mind i haven't made eye-contact. Still,
with no eye-contact i walk away and in my quick-step, i don't care what
the world thinks of me walk i murmer in a hearable tone, "No." And in
my mind to her i say, "Congradulations." To me she'll say,"On what
terms." And i will say willing to get punishment for my sense of pride,
"It's a dream come true for you."
-1st_9lies
P.S. -That was a chapter in a book that i want to write 'chall. Hope u
like. umm if you don't like it, dont respond. Quote from Bambi: "If you
dont have anything nice to say, don't say nuthn' at all."
current mood:  calm
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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7:45 pm - My book that i will someday write; HOPEFULLY
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I intend to make a book of my experiences in life. It'll be called like: The Diaries of a Teenage Girl- A Life With Lost Meaning. Something corny like that. To make people think that it's a good book. LOL this will go in the book too. ok goodbye world. and guten nacht!
current mood: Bored
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(comment on this)
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| Sunday, April 4th, 2004
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10:02 pm - strawberry;raspberry; we want it all!
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hey ya! um today i like played a practice game in softball against this team called "Thunder" and in mind us "The Tamales!!!!!!!!" well, i had never hit a ball in a game in my life and today i hit 1 RBI and then a double then when someone else was batting(keep in mind me, on second base) i ran to third and not knowing what to do while everyone on my team was shouting, "SLIDE, SLIDE, SLIDE!!!!!!!" I slid to home (in mind without a slliding pad) and i looked up at the umpire in unicin with the other team's catcher and right then he shouted, "SAFE!" and i was so proud. i ran to the dugout and still exited with high-fives scattered, i felt no pain of the wound that lie underneath my huge sagging XL (extra large) softball pants was the hugest gash i have ever had! :D i was like still smiling while i said, "oh i probably got hurt!" and i raised my pant-leg slowly and i was like, "hah!" and i kinday limped over to coach and high-fived her and she turned away (in mind she was base-coaching) and i kinda went, "coach i need first aid." (by then my wound was bleeding/gushing with blood and not dripping-just lingering there.) and she went, "oh! your first strawberry!" and i smiled and shouted, " I LOVE THIS TEAM!" And on went my pain and loving it career in softball.
YOURS TRULY,
-1ST_9LIES (THE SOFTBALL GENIUS)
current mood: proud
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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| Friday, March 19th, 2004
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10:30 pm - bored, injured, depressed, reality check
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in religion class my HR
teacher gave me a huge reality check he said, " well, if you ever met
someone famous, it would be like a miracle to you but it would probably
mean nothing to the famous person." and i was like: "thanks that really
makes my day!?!?!?!?" (in my mind or detention for me!!!)
& that's what mde me depressed
ecause what if i never meet Gwen Stefani and i dont want to lose faith.
for those of you who don't know, (the few of you) i am gwen stefani's
biggest fan and it really hurt my confidence when my educator said that
it wouldn't probably mean anything to her. and that was a huge reality
check and right now im pondering....it's the weekend and nothing to do
and my cuz bailed on our sleepover and i could have gone to ur house
__audible, and im pissed because i am bored and im never supposed to be
bored. i m either praising the ground Gwen walks on, playing my guitar,
listening to music, boxing, doing sumthn w/ my friends, online, or
doing sumthing active...i am a normal teenager with and unusual mind...
this coming from a person who slaves over tv and no doubt music and no
doubt jammed and history and cd's. a normal teenage life.... could it
get any better than this???? dont answer that.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.
ok well i like dont know any more... any one with advice, talk to
me !!!!!!!!! im hoplessly devoted to you, will you still love me
tomorrow, it's my life, maps, south
side!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
im going to leave you now... goodbye.....Peaz!!!!!
-1st_9lies (bored 1st_9lies)
current mood: injured
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(6 comments | comment on this)
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| Thursday, February 26th, 2004
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1:18 pm - nah no.
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i am updatin it. ok. i am at home right now while everybody's at school. hahahaha. well i m doing my home work on my sick time-off. yup im sick.im a sick-o!!!!!! weeeeeeeeeee!
hah. hahahahhahhahahahahahahhaha. but at least they dont have numb butts. yeas. theat ieas reaight! iea heave aea neaumb beautt. nah no. i have a numb butt. i was like having lower back pain so i like put a heating pad on my lower back. ooo. i can tell this is gonna be good. (leans in closer.) nah no. well i like fell asleep and it was on high. and when i woke up, i couldn't feel my butt. hah.hahahhahahahahahhahahahahah! wait! why are talking about my butt? ooo. yeah. because you wanted me to update it. so i decided to talk about my butt. nah no. jus' my numbed little butt!
-1st_9lies
P.S.-has your butt ever been numbed? hahahahahhahahahhahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!
current mood:  sick
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(3 comments | comment on this)
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| Thursday, February 19th, 2004
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8:38 pm - THIS MY FUEL. WHAT'S YOURS?
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you know why i don't give you any shit? because i know you can't take it. I can indure all the shit you give me. It doesn't mean i dont think it. And it's time like these where i realize it's true. So dont bother stopping to think of why you're doing it. It's because you're afraid of me doing the same to you. Sooner or later, you're gonna look into my eyes and i'll look into yours. Then will give that i'm sorry look and mouthit to eachother at the same time. Then we'll make up and then do it all over again over you being hyper and me being annoyed. "Father, forgive them. They know no what they do." -Luke Ch.23:24 i think
-1st_9lies
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(7 comments | comment on this)
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7:59 pm - ok
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you think that every thing i think and say is what i call right? Think what you think, dream what you dream. Just remember things aren't always what they seem.
You know who you are.
o. P.S. I don't mind the wise cracks you pull. So, go ahead. Mind mine.
-you know who i am.
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(comment on this)
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